awakenings

Procastinator

awakenings — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 03:52:33 +0000

I am the worst (or rather, best?) procastinator. Everytime I start to get even remotely close to getting something done that needs to get done, I attempt to distract myself with something that will make me feel as if I am being productive in some other, less important way. I often suceed.

And well, that explains why I am here. After years of abandoning you, after a fleeting hope that you would be something new for me — a fresh start of sorts — I am finally here. I don’t even care if anyone finds this, and I don’t even care if people realize what this is, who I am, what I feel here. I care only about making an attempt, and keep attempting over and over until I succeed, at some peace of mind.

Heaven/paradise

awakenings — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 18:55:46 +0000

According to muslims (christianity, and I’m sure countless religions out there as well) “Paradise is a place of no suffering.”

Does that mean we will no longer be able to feel suffering, or will there be no reason to suffer? If it’s the latter, the, there must be very many different types of paradise or “heavens” because people suffer in different places, from different things.

And, if it’s the first kind of paradise, where we are not able to feel suffering and thus are not aware of it, will we be living a kind of lie?

Is that lie worth living, if its supposed to be paradise?
What if to some of us, paradise would be a place with pure and complete honesty? Then what?

Most of the people in society have a very different idea of what “paradise” would be than I do.

I know I sure as hell don’t picture my paradise wih golden arches and streets of gold, mostly because, well, I hate the color gold.

the beginning of something new

awakenings — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 17:42:29 +0000

This is the beginning of something new: Something more private, and, thus, more open. Something more in-depth and more focused.

A feeble attempt, at least…